In silence and darkness
I live alone here.
No one is near
To see me the way I am now.
They never knew how
I lost the will to live,
For in my life I did give
And I remained a symbol too
Of what everyone wanted to do
So it is good that they not see me as less.
Long ago I came to the world
My plan of life gloriously unfurled
And the multitudes saw me come
Into my life not hearing a hum
Of the approach of my end.
At first I lost just one true friend,
But the years grew darker there
Lonliness now everywhere
And now I was the damned one.
Life had fired a large gun
Killing my weak and damaged heart.
Many a time I fell apart
And the happiness those years that I would know
from the depths of my mind a new life grow.
And the life that I created continues today,
Forever great there, here in hell today.
A dark year it came to me there
Whatever remained strewn everywhere.
If now was called hell I was happy before.
Now all those days will be damned forevermore.
New lonliness did I learn
As in the fires of hell I burn,
Deceived and tortured mentally.
Freedom I thought I would never see.
But the end of my life there finally came.
When I came out I was nevermore sane.
Now I look to my future
My chance to escape
The past that controlled
My very existence.
How could my past
The twisted evil it is
Follow me from hell
To recreate the mess?
And now bourne upon a new land, not far away
From the hell that had spawned me an earlier day.
Beseiged by the return of the past in a new way
There is nothing more here left to say.
But I go on thinking
About the three years of utter waste which was my life.
Total loneliness
Throughout that well of pain that was forever my life.
How could I go on
Through this tourture in the rest of my life?
Is the choice clear
As to whether or not to take my wretched life?
Six months left to go before I am free
To run from the hell my life has managed to be
But then she came into my twisted life.
To my heart she was a jagged knife
Yet in my heart I will forever feel
A masochistic love that is forever real.
Those days live in my mind forevermore
As I know I will hold her nevermore.
And I wandered through the world as I wander now
Searching for that love but not knowing how
I will find it.
The end of it all came that May
As my life reached the final day.
Now I stood alone, facing the world
And from it in fear I almost curled
And drew away forever.
But my nature itself will never
Let me stay away from my life,
Ever riddled with self-driven strife
That returns every day
To make me pay
For some sin I had not committed
Being sure I've not benefitted
In life.
Now I look again to my future
My second chance to escape
The past that controlled
My very existence.
How could my past
The twisted evil it is
Follow me from the first two hells
To recreate the mess?
I began my life by the water
For my life it is like the water.
It is strong when it flows but can be
Divided and destroyed effortlessly.
And did I find the peace that I
Had tried to find lest I wither and die?
Did I discover true happiness?
Was my life no longer a pitiful mess?
Was I free from that hell that I had used to know?
As my life returned the answer to all was NO!
And my dreams were slowly shatteres by shadows of the past
And I wait all alone now wondering how long I will last.
My life by the water is what I live now.
I look upon the water and I ask myself how
I will survive when I see the past again,
For I have seen myself once again go insane.
I have looked for love and I could not find it.
Now I know that I will never find it.
I have seen my life grow, I have seen it torn away,
And now in my loneliness I wait for the day
That I am freed from the chains of my life.
This will be the last day of my life.
This is where I shall forever remain
Waiting to rise and be crushed once again.
In silence and darkness
I lived alone there.
No one is aware
Of the way I am now.
They will never know how
I lost the will to live,
For nothing my life I did give
And I remain a symbol I see
Of what no one wanted to be
So it is good that they not see me in the darkness.
I live alone here.
No one is near
To see me the way I am now.
They never knew how
I lost the will to live,
For in my life I did give
And I remained a symbol too
Of what everyone wanted to do
So it is good that they not see me as less.
Long ago I came to the world
My plan of life gloriously unfurled
And the multitudes saw me come
Into my life not hearing a hum
Of the approach of my end.
At first I lost just one true friend,
But the years grew darker there
Lonliness now everywhere
And now I was the damned one.
Life had fired a large gun
Killing my weak and damaged heart.
Many a time I fell apart
And the happiness those years that I would know
from the depths of my mind a new life grow.
And the life that I created continues today,
Forever great there, here in hell today.
A dark year it came to me there
Whatever remained strewn everywhere.
If now was called hell I was happy before.
Now all those days will be damned forevermore.
New lonliness did I learn
As in the fires of hell I burn,
Deceived and tortured mentally.
Freedom I thought I would never see.
But the end of my life there finally came.
When I came out I was nevermore sane.
Now I look to my future
My chance to escape
The past that controlled
My very existence.
How could my past
The twisted evil it is
Follow me from hell
To recreate the mess?
And now bourne upon a new land, not far away
From the hell that had spawned me an earlier day.
Beseiged by the return of the past in a new way
There is nothing more here left to say.
But I go on thinking
About the three years of utter waste which was my life.
Total loneliness
Throughout that well of pain that was forever my life.
How could I go on
Through this tourture in the rest of my life?
Is the choice clear
As to whether or not to take my wretched life?
Six months left to go before I am free
To run from the hell my life has managed to be
But then she came into my twisted life.
To my heart she was a jagged knife
Yet in my heart I will forever feel
A masochistic love that is forever real.
Those days live in my mind forevermore
As I know I will hold her nevermore.
And I wandered through the world as I wander now
Searching for that love but not knowing how
I will find it.
The end of it all came that May
As my life reached the final day.
Now I stood alone, facing the world
And from it in fear I almost curled
And drew away forever.
But my nature itself will never
Let me stay away from my life,
Ever riddled with self-driven strife
That returns every day
To make me pay
For some sin I had not committed
Being sure I've not benefitted
In life.
Now I look again to my future
My second chance to escape
The past that controlled
My very existence.
How could my past
The twisted evil it is
Follow me from the first two hells
To recreate the mess?
I began my life by the water
For my life it is like the water.
It is strong when it flows but can be
Divided and destroyed effortlessly.
And did I find the peace that I
Had tried to find lest I wither and die?
Did I discover true happiness?
Was my life no longer a pitiful mess?
Was I free from that hell that I had used to know?
As my life returned the answer to all was NO!
And my dreams were slowly shatteres by shadows of the past
And I wait all alone now wondering how long I will last.
My life by the water is what I live now.
I look upon the water and I ask myself how
I will survive when I see the past again,
For I have seen myself once again go insane.
I have looked for love and I could not find it.
Now I know that I will never find it.
I have seen my life grow, I have seen it torn away,
And now in my loneliness I wait for the day
That I am freed from the chains of my life.
This will be the last day of my life.
This is where I shall forever remain
Waiting to rise and be crushed once again.
In silence and darkness
I lived alone there.
No one is aware
Of the way I am now.
They will never know how
I lost the will to live,
For nothing my life I did give
And I remain a symbol I see
Of what no one wanted to be
So it is good that they not see me in the darkness.
