1. Definitions
She is the One.
I do not know her name.
There are many names that
Cross my mind, my lips, my pen.
I do not know her face.
From childhood to rebirth
To cold existence many faces.
I do not know her heart.
For though we may have met
It has yet to be revealed,
Yet--
I count the seconds and the years.
I seek her with every thought.
I desire her deep within.
I love her without reserve.
I cherish her without regret.
I await her in my house
That stands empty.
2. Awakening
The first name, a dim memory
Before I knew love, desire,
At a time of only innocence,
Lost to me before I could understand.
The first stirrings came later,
The desire for something,
Undefined, unrefined, unmet,
Brief spells all to quick dispelled.
Another name, a single week,
The cold of winter lost in
The heat of a first kiss,
The heat of a first passion.
The Voice conceived, gestated,
Born into first form,
Clumsy, bumbling, struggling
to find itself in Love's wake.
3. One Ring
Another name. And a face.
And a history. And a loss.
To explain the situation
Requires conjuring memories
Best left to rest.
From a fateful place engaged in song
To the side of a friend gone too soon,
A lifetime of love and pain, of
hope and regret came.
With promises binding me forever
To her will and her heart until
I awoke to find the dream ended.
After time came consummation
Which left us nothing more to do.
4. Wasteland
Many years had past me by.
Another name, another face,
One that had come before briefly.
For her it had been too long
And she sought me out.
We found solace and comfort,
We witnessed joy and life,
And I lost her to death
Though she lived. She returned
To the role she lost to Death.
And it was gone too fast.
5.Descent
Same name, new face,
Many faces, many of them evil,
Almost all of them pretty.
And under that spell I fell,
Surrendering control,
Surrendering dignity,
Passionately discovering betrayal,
Unwittingly gaining the greatest
Joys my world was ever to possess.
That story lives on in them.
That story has another chapter or two,
But I am alone in those chapters
Because I must write it that way.
It is my responsibility to do so.
That is all I have now.
6. Hope
From afar I share the minds of those
I could have no other way.
The days and months pass,
Soon to be years uncounted.
I subsist. I exist. I prioritize.
Yet Hope remains now,
Given form in another name
And another face,
One I loved before I could,
One I cherished when my heart was elsewhere,
One who was out of reach
By time then, by distance now,
A dream now, perhaps forever.
I have yet to find her,
The One that I seek.
For now my compass points North.
How long it does I don't know,
Yet I continue the search.
She is the One.
I do not know her name.
There are many names that
Cross my mind, my lips, my pen.
I do not know her face.
From childhood to rebirth
To cold existence many faces.
I do not know her heart.
For though we may have met
It has yet to be revealed,
Yet--
I count the seconds and the years.
I seek her with every thought.
I desire her deep within.
I love her without reserve.
I cherish her without regret.
I await her in my house
That stands empty.
2. Awakening
The first name, a dim memory
Before I knew love, desire,
At a time of only innocence,
Lost to me before I could understand.
The first stirrings came later,
The desire for something,
Undefined, unrefined, unmet,
Brief spells all to quick dispelled.
Another name, a single week,
The cold of winter lost in
The heat of a first kiss,
The heat of a first passion.
The Voice conceived, gestated,
Born into first form,
Clumsy, bumbling, struggling
to find itself in Love's wake.
3. One Ring
Another name. And a face.
And a history. And a loss.
To explain the situation
Requires conjuring memories
Best left to rest.
From a fateful place engaged in song
To the side of a friend gone too soon,
A lifetime of love and pain, of
hope and regret came.
With promises binding me forever
To her will and her heart until
I awoke to find the dream ended.
After time came consummation
Which left us nothing more to do.
4. Wasteland
Many years had past me by.
Another name, another face,
One that had come before briefly.
For her it had been too long
And she sought me out.
We found solace and comfort,
We witnessed joy and life,
And I lost her to death
Though she lived. She returned
To the role she lost to Death.
And it was gone too fast.
5.Descent
Same name, new face,
Many faces, many of them evil,
Almost all of them pretty.
And under that spell I fell,
Surrendering control,
Surrendering dignity,
Passionately discovering betrayal,
Unwittingly gaining the greatest
Joys my world was ever to possess.
That story lives on in them.
That story has another chapter or two,
But I am alone in those chapters
Because I must write it that way.
It is my responsibility to do so.
That is all I have now.
6. Hope
From afar I share the minds of those
I could have no other way.
The days and months pass,
Soon to be years uncounted.
I subsist. I exist. I prioritize.
Yet Hope remains now,
Given form in another name
And another face,
One I loved before I could,
One I cherished when my heart was elsewhere,
One who was out of reach
By time then, by distance now,
A dream now, perhaps forever.
I have yet to find her,
The One that I seek.
For now my compass points North.
How long it does I don't know,
Yet I continue the search.
(I wrote this one at 1:00AM a few days ago, after lying in bed for an hour unable to sleep. It took half an hour, and I still couldn't get fully to sleep until after 2:00. All it took was a name from a few years back, someone I fell for and couldn't act on, for many reasons, at the time. And from a logical point of view, I still can't, at least not without a whole lot of problems. Thus I summarize with poetry, omitting names for obvious reasons. But if any of them are reading this poem, they will know themselves. Because this is the whole story of my love life, as it may be.)
