1. will I have you?
As I sit here all alone thinking about you
I am lost in my lost life
As I think about you, what do I do?
I think of young one, then of a knife
I think about you always at my side
Somehow I’ve always known
Without you in my thoughts I have already died
I am back where I started and all alone
Now I drifted to sleep alone once more
I may never get to hold you tight
As the knife shifts in my body on the floor
My need for you fades with my life in to the night.
2. my life about you
Where ever I may be
I am thinking of you
Where ever I may go
I want to go to you
Whatever I may do
I will do it for you
Whatever I may say
I will care for you
Whoever I may know
I know that I need you
When ever I do die
It would be without you
3. the way to you
Abyss that I look across
That which I must now cross
Not money and power and gold
Does the far side of the abyss hold
With only you on the other side
The abyss to cross is still inside
The pit of my death and emotional hell
My life remaining offered to sell
But inside alone is me
And soon you will be able to see
Me
4. we must escape
Danger in our lives I see
What I desire may never be
For what one needs the other can give
If only we both can sanely live
Desires unfold that you can't see
Desires that flow to you from me
Trapped in lives fucked from the day of birth
That have survived so far in this deadly earth
Seek me out now so we may be one
O lovely beauty, “Run with me, let's run”
5. life becomes a dream
I sit alone of the moon
Holding your body and soul close to me
I look up at the sky and see your eyes
And I know I need you if I want to be
Able to live, to see my life grove.
And I can hold you forever it may seem
But as I write this by the radio alone
I wonder if it will only be as dream.
6. my paradox
Help me
I'm dying
Without you by my side to hold me up.
Alone
Forever
Because I saw you I will be this way.
Into
Nothingness
Because my love is not to be requited.
Now I
Must leave here
To escape from the love that will kill me.
7. I leave you
I sit alone at night dreaming of you next to me
And now I see I may have to let you go away.
My thoughts poured out to you and I can't see
And now I retreat in darkness as you move into the day
And I am alone once more, may I soon be
Able to leave, to die in peace, to slowly fade away.
8. my end
This is the end
I’ll raise up from my death I know not when.
No more a friend
Now I’ll never look into your eyes again.
Love will fade not
Despite the hell you didn’t know you put me through.
The fires grow hot
As I disappear, you do not know what you do.
But now I die
My soul grows darker with everything you do.
And never will I
Be able to show my painful love for you.
Goodbye.
(note: being one of my early works, I did borrow and paraphrase from lyrics by The Doors . Therefore, accept this in the spirit in which it was written, which was not with absolute originality.)
